SNAP SHOT
Instant Messaging WHILE in the Workplace
Episode 11: ELEGANTLY WASTED
Uncensored. NOW SOMEWHAT Unscripted. And unsolicited. Just when you think nothing will come out when you engage a conversation inside the realm of cyberspace, TADAH! You can see what you typed in this page!
Cheap plug: My YM is stacey_the_evil_chipmunk (if you want your thoughts to be hacked).
| The Situation: |
| BUZZ!!! BUZZ!!! BUZZ!!! |
When a friend’s ex got your YM it can be a good thing or a bad thing. It’s good when they rant about your friend because it is just goddamn funny (especially now that I’m making these Snapshots). But if they act all silly and be all that chummy, it is kind of sickening.
I don’t like those things…
The Sydman: O, musta na pahinga mo?
Psycho Girl: Okay naman. Hehe!
Then five consecutive happy emoticons appeared.
The Sydman: Yun lang. Babay.
Then I closed the message window and returned to working.
Then consecutive crying, angry, and raised eyebrow emoticons appeared.
Psycho Girl: Haha! Baket??? Busy ka ba o nag bi-busy busy-han???
The Sydman: Uhh… medyo.
Die.
The Sydman: Sige magtatanong ako. So musta na kayo ni blank?
Psycho Girl: Sige sasagutin ko ang tanong mo. Okay naman kami ni blank!!!
Then five consecutive happy and drooling emoticons appeared.
The Sydman: Hmmm… teka, sinong blank? Hehe…
Psycho Girl: secret!!
Then five consecutive hush emoticons appeared. Adik yata siya.
The Sydman: Hmmm... may limang letra ba yan? Kilala ko ba yan?
Psycho Girl: Oo kilalang kilala mo!
The Sydman: Yun ba yung blaaaaaaaaaaankkk?
Then five consecutive laughing emoticons appeared.
Psycho Girl: Bwahahahahahahahahaha! Ay, yun yata!!! May tama ka! May tama ka sa utak!
The Sydman: Ows? Aba teka, makapagsumbong nga...
Psycho Girl: Kanino ka naman magsusumbong huh??? At ano naman ang gagawin sakin nun??? Bakit ‘pag sinumbong mo ba ako papaluin ba niya ko sa pwet???
While part of me wanted to engage in a dissing contest, that last line was partly slutty. I just closed the window. Hirap patulan e… baka mayare.
Sick and psychotic, ultra-clingy, and does unsettling things while drunk? Yes. Do-able? Hell yeah.
Kung hindi ka lang wacko at kung hindi ko kaibigan yung… DAMMIT!
Psycho Girl: O, BAT NATAHIMIK KA??
Then five consecutive happy emoticons appeared.
BUZZ!!!
Then five consecutive sad emoticons appeared.
BUZZ!!!
Then five consecutive angry emoticons appeared.
The Sydman: wag ka muna magulo at busy ako!!!
Psycho Girl: Okay po! Chunget!!!
Anyway, I was busy engaging an important conversation with Jorge. I know, he is not important but I am afraid she’ll think of me as someone who cares.
The Sydman: Medyo bumababa na ang ratings ng Snapshots. Ang pilot episode pa rin ang pinakamataas. I guess nang naging personal, medyo na-alienate ang mga audience. Sensya dude, I'm like thinking exec right now.
I’m like those teleseryes… noong pilot episode lang mataas pero declining na afterwards…
jorgecosgayon: Gagu dude, if you write it, they will come. Lalo ‘pag erotic… they will cum. Lalo na si Blind. Mahilig sa erotica yun e. There's a man-sized stack of Bandera Tonite sa bahay nila. Kaya nga “Blind” ang tawag sa kanya e… kasi nabubulag siya from spankin’ the monkey.
I write it as they write it…
<washes hands>
The Sydman: Here's a question: Kailangan ba akong magbawas ng mga disgustoids/morons sa Snapshot or should I stick to one?
jorgecosgayon: Hmmm… from a marketing standpoint, no idea. Pero from my standpoint, ang saya. Although, more Edson would be nice.
Eww…
The Sydman: That's a printscreen moment pare. Pero I won't because this is a meeting. More women in the series?
jorgecosgayon: Hmm… pwede rin…
(thinks) Meeeeooooowww?
Inside joke.
The Sydman: (thinks then gets pissed) No.
(normal voice) Pero I think that we should address the need of a female person in the series.
jorgecosgayon: Yup. Meeeeoooowwwww?
The Sydman: (pissed) I hate you. By the way, may sinabi pala sakin si Mark… about you pare.
jorgecosgayon: Which Mark?
The Sydman: Villasin. If Wahlberg is Marky Mark, then this guy is Monkey Mark! It seems patay na patay ka raw sa ex mo or something? The name escapes me though pero those were his words. Mylene? Vivian? Marivic?
(thinks) Robert?
jorgecosgayon: It’s Jean you fairy.
The Sydman: I knew that. Pero hindi ba talaga Robert?
jorgecosgayon: You fucking cunt!
The Sydman: Come on! You said that already! Can't you improvise!?!?
jorgecosgayon: You fucking child! No! I'm channeling Al Pacino, you fairy!
The Sydman: Not good. Not good at all.
jorgecosgayon: We godda ged oudda heah!!!!! Aaaauauauauauauauauaagh!
I realized I have to appear invisible to this particular person. Not Jorge. This.
BUZZ!!!
Then five consecutive angry emoticons appeared.
Psycho Girl: Busy ka talaga?!
BUZZ!!!
Then five consecutive sad emoticons appeared.
Psycho Girl: HOY?!
BUZZ!!!
Then five consecutive angry emoticons appeared.
Psycho Girl: HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY HOY!!!!!!!!
Pakshet…
END
