THE SYDMAN SHOW

The Sydman’s TIME SPELL

PART 5

By Sydrick Salazar

INT. CAITLIN’S HOUSE – CAITLIN’S ROOM, 2006. DAY

CAITLIN LOOKS AT THE CEILING… POSSIBLY THINKING. WE SEE HER DRESS… A SKIMPY NIGHTIE. THEN DERRICK WAKES UP. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER, DERRICK IS HAPPY, CAITLIN’S NOT. DERRICK’S HAPPINESS QUICKLY VANISHES.

DERRICK:
Hindi ka masaya?

CAITLIN:
Medyo.

DERRICK:
Was it me? As in “It’s not you, it’s me”? Look, first time ko ‘to. Sa style ko ba? Am I hurting you in a non-perverted manner? Pangit ba ako humalik?

CAITLIN:
Derrick, hindi doon…

DERRICK:
Pero kaya hindi siya effective kasi hindi ka rin ganong ka-motivated. Sabi ko sayo, nood na rin tayo ng porn…

CAITLIN:
(pissed)
Sa palagay mo, pag nalaman ‘to ng Caitlin mo, matutuwa kaya yon?

DERRICK THINKS THEN GETS PISSED.

DERRICK:
Huh?

CAITLIN:
Yung nililigawan mo sa panahon mo?

DERRICK:
Wala namang paki sakin yung Caitlin na nandoon e. At least dito, patay na patay siya sa Derrick niya!

CAITLIN:
So ang sinasabi mo is nagsasawa ka na sa amin?

DERRICK:
Hell no. Pero I’m just saying na at kung may nararamdaman siya para sa akin, masaya siguro kung pinapakita niya.

CAITLIN:
Well, kung ikaw hindi naku-kunsensya sa ginawa mo, ako oo.

DERRICK:
What? That’s stupid. Yung Derrick mo ngayon ay ako dati. Ano ang cheating doon?

CAITLIN:
(pissed)
Ang Derrick na nakikita ko ngayon ay isang egotistical moron na walang magandang sinasabi sa akin kung hindi pambobola which is basically the reason kung bakit hindi kita agad na sinagot!
(pause)
Ang Derrick na minamahal ko ngayon ay isang taong tingin lang sa akin misyon – nang sinagot ko, binabalewala na lang niya ako. Bukod sa tino-time niya ako gamit ang best friend ko, wala na siyang paki sa mga importanteng pangyayari sa buhay ko.

DERRICK IS SILENT.

DERRICK:
Damn.

CAITLIN WAS ABOUT TO GET OUT OF THE BED.

DERRICK:
May question pala ako. Masaya ka ba sa akin?

CAITLIN THEN SMILES AT DERRICK.

CAITLIN:
(whispers)
Here’s a spoiler for you. Kung alam ko lang na ganito ang mangyayari sa atin, sana hindi na kita sinagot. Ito ang dahilan kung bakit kita hinintay.

CAITLIN PUTS HER FACE NEAR DERRICK’S. DERRICK RETRACTS HIS HEAD AWAY AS THIS HAPPENS.

CAITLIN:
Gusto ko yung mabait, makulit, at maasikasong Derrick. Baguhin mo siya pagbalik mo doon.

CAITLIN GETS OUT OF THE BED AND IN TO HER BATHROOM.

DERRICK:
(thinks)
So this sex thing… is this some sort of bribery??

CAITLIN (off-scene):
Tingnan mo, pa-cute ka na e! Hindi mo alam kung kelan at paano mag-seryoso!
(change topic)
Para matigil ka na, OO, ito yung suhol mo para baguhin mo sarili mo pagtanda!

DERRICK:
Look I’m happy about this pero… ngayong nag-drama ka, wala na siyang saya factor e. Hindi sapat ‘to!

CAITLIN GOES OUT OF THE BATHROOM STILL WEARING HER SKIMPY OUTFIT WITH WATER DRIPPING FROM HER FACE TO HER BODY.

CAITLIN:
(clueless)
So anong ini-isip mo?

CUT TO:

INT. SHOPPING CENTER, 2006. DAY

CAITLIN IS INSIDE THE MALL’S DEPARTMENT STORE, CHECKING ON HER CELLPHONE WHEN DAN AND MAY ENTERS.

MAY:
Confirmed na, mamayang five thirty ang dating nila.
(looks around)
Teka, asan si Derrick?

CAITLIN:
Ayun o…

THE THREE LOOK AT DERRICK AND THE OLDER LYNN, ACCOMPANIED BY A SHOPPING CART FILLED WITH CELLPHONE UNITS, LAPTOPS, MAGAZINES, SHOES, I-PODS, PLAY STATIONS, FLAT SCREEN TV SETS, AMONG OTHERS.

MAY:
Matalino.

DAN:
(to Caitlin)
Para kang Sugar Mommy …

CAITLIN:
Balak pa nga niya na bumili ng mga DVD’s pero napilit ko siyang magtiis sa mga pirated.

DAN:
(curious)
Paano pala magbabayad yan?

CAITLIN:
(diabolically smiles)
Good question.

CAITLIN SHOWS OLDER DERRICK’S CREDIT CARD TO HER FRIENDS.

INT. CLASSROOM, 2001. DAY

CON IS SLEEPING WHEN HE WAKES UP TO THE BLAST OF GABE’S LOUD CELLPHONE.

CON:
Peste.

CON PICKS UP GABE’S PHONE.

CON:
Hello?

DERRICK (voiceover):
Hello Gabe!

CON:
Hindi ‘to si Gabe.

THEN CON HANGS UP AND RESUMES HIS SLEEP THEN THE PHONE RINGS AGAIN.

CON:
(pissed)
Ano ba problema nito… Hello?

DERRICK (voiceover):
(shouts)
E KUNG TADYAKAN KAYA KITA?!?!

CON:
(shocked)
D-D! Kamusta?

DERRICK (voiceover):
Nasaan si Gabe?

CON:
Nasa library sila e…

DERRICK (voiceover):
Pumunta kayo sa exhibit center mamaya… babalik na ako.

CUT TO:

INT. CORRIDOR/LIBRARY, 2001. DAY

CON RUNS TO THE LIBRARY AND WHEN HE COMES TO WHERE HIS FRIENDS ARE, HE SHRIEKS. GABE IS IN A LADDER ON TOP OF A BOOKSHELF WITH HIS HANDS RAISED AND ABOVE HIM IS A CEILING FAN.

CAITLIN:
Bakit?

CON:
Walang hihinga… MAPANGANIB!!

GABE:
Teka bakit ba…

GABE THEN NOTICES THE CEILING FAN. THE FRIENDS LAUGH.

GABE:
(pissed)
Gusto mo bang hindi umabot ng Pasko!?

CON:
Teka lang! Pabalik na si Derrick.

THEY ARE ALL HAPPY EXCEPT FOR CAITLIN.

CAITLIN:
(pissed)
E anong hinihintay natin e di sunduin na natin siya!

DAN:
Mainit pa rin ulo niyan?

JACKY:
Tama na selos! Tara na!

CAITLIN:
(to Jacky)
Kapal ng mukha mo! Bakit ako magseselos sa ugok na yon!

LYNN (off-scene):
TEKA!

THEY LOOK AT THE DIRECTION WHERE THE VOICE WAS HEARD AND THEY FIND LYNN, PISSED.

LYNN:
(serious)
Simula nang bumalik kayo galing sa field trip parang may tinatago kayo sa akin. Napipikon na ako. Ano ba yon?

CUT TO:

INT/EXT. STREETS, 2006. DAY

AS DERRICK AND THE WOMEN HEAD TO THE AIRPORT DERRICK IS ASTONISHED ON THE MANY BILLBOARDS HE SPOTS AND THE PERSONALITIES THAT GRACE THESE ADS THAT HE DOES NOT KNOW. CAITLIN LOOKS AT THE STARRY-EYED DERRICK.

INT/EXT. STREETS, 2001. DAY

SEGUE TO THE 2001 CAITLIN, LOOKING OUTSIDE OF GABE’S CAR AT THE PASSENGER SEAT AS CON, JACKY, DAN, MAY, AND LYNN JOCKEY FOR POSITION AS THEY ALL TRY TO COMFORTABLY SIT.

INT/EXT. AIRPORT – ARRIVALS SECTION, 2006. DAY

THE SUN IS ABOUT TO SET. DERRICK WAITS ANXIOUSLY FOR THE OTHER DERRICK TO COME IN. CAITLIN IS VISIBLY QUIET.

LYNN:
Nasan na ba sila?

CUT TO:

INT/EXT. AIRPORT – BAGGAGE COUNTER, 2006. DAY

OLDER DERRICK AND THE OTHERS ARE CURRENTLY IN THE INSPECTION AREA WHERE THE GUARDS ARE CHECKING ON THEIR THINGS.

CUSTOMS:
Uy, daming kendi! Pwede bang makahingi ng isa…

THEN THE CUSTOM GUY THINKS AND EVENTUALLY GRABS A WHOLE PACK.

2006 DER:
(pissed)
Kelan kaya mawawala ang mga kotong dito?

CON:
‘Pag hindi na amoy sunog na plastic si Gabe. Nasa Japan ka na hindi ka pa naghanap ng mga tekkie gadgets na magtatanggal ng baho mo!

GABE:
Anong magagawa ko?! Wala ngang tumatalab!

THEN OLDER DERRICK SPOTS CAITLIN, WHO’S LOOKING AT HIM TEARY-EYED.

CUT TO:

INT/EXT. AIRPORT – ARRIVALS SECTION, 2006. DAY

OLDER DERRICK AND CAITLIN STAND ADJACENT WITH THE OTHER. THEN CAITLIN HUGS OLDER DERRICK.

CAITLIN:
(sobbing)
Gago bat hindi ka nagpaparamdam!

2006 DER:
Actually hindi ko talaga alam e, basta ang alam ko, sobrang kupal ako sa hindi pagintindi sa graduation mo at sa hindi pagtawag sayo.

CAITLIN:
Walang kahit anong communication…

2006 DER:
Alam ko, gago ako. Hibang ako ng mga panahong yon for some reason.

OLDER DERRICK POINTS AT JACKY.

JACKY:
You know May, I bought you a beautiful bag!

MAY:
Talaga?!

JACKY:
Yeah. It’s so bagay on you!

CAITLIN LOOKS DISGUSTED.

CAITLIN:
Anong nangyari doon?

2006 DER:
Nahiwalay ng upuan. May nakatabing mga konyo…

THEN OLDER DERRICK TOUCHES CAITLIN’S FACE.

DERRICK:
Alam kong these past few weeks, nagkakalabuan tayo. Pero believe me, para sa atin naman ang ginagawa ko e.

CAITLIN:
D, ito yung hindi mo makita e. Wala akong pakialam umalis ka para magtrabaho, o gumawa ka na naman ng katarantaduhan pero oras na umalis ka ulit ng hindi nagpapa-alam…

DERRICK:
(interrupts)
Wag mo na tuloy.

THE TWO EMBRACE AND THEY KISS. THEIR FRIENDS LOOK AT THEM.

JACKY:
Shet na mi-miss ko ang Dawson’s Creek.

CON:
Mas emotional pa ‘to kesa sa panahong na-reunite si Gabe sa tubig… kaso huli na ang lahat… masyado nang na-attached yung libag niya sa kanya… na-graft na yung balat… hindi ko alam ang tawag e.

GABE:
(mad)
HINDI MO BA AKO TITIGILAN!!!

GABE WAS ABOUT TO PUNCH CON WHEN A BIG SHADOW CAST UPON CON THAT AUTOMATICALLY SCARES CON. THE SHADOW HAD A RECOGNIZABLE BIG BELLY.

DAN (off-scene):
(pissed)
Speaking of heart warming…

CON BY THIS TIME IS WALKING BACKWARDS AWAY FROM THE SHADOW. THEN CON RUNS AWAY FROM DAN WHO IS ABOUT TO RUN TOO BUT SHE IS STOPPED BY MAY.

MAY:
Ano ka ba? Bawal kang tumakbo…

DAN:
(mad)
Hindi mo ba pananagutan to!!

CON (off-scene):
Manligaw ka muna!!!!

DAN:
(mad)
PAKSHET KA!!

AS MAY RESTRAINS DAN, YOUNG DERRICK STARES AT HIS OLDER COUNTERPART AND HIS FRIENDS.

CAITLIN:
Derrick may kailangan kang malaman.

2006 DER:
Say no more.

OLDER DERRICK WALKS TO YOUNG DERRICK WHO IS CURRENTLY TALKING TO GABE AND JACKY.

JACKY:
Uy don’t forget to tell my past na isa na pala akong magaling na wushu artist! Gagawan nga ako ng pelikula ng older self mo e! Hulaan mo kung sinong gaganap bilang ako. Take a wild guess!

DERRICK:
Roland Gan?

JACKY:
Na-uhhh!

DERRICK:
Richard Reynoso?

JACKY:
Dude, its Bojo Molina! Ano ka ba?

DERRICK STARES AT JACKY IN A CLUELESS MANNER.

DERRICK:
(freaked out)
Sikat pa ba yon?

GABBER:
(whisper)
Tinotoo niya ang biro namin. Feeling niya may launching movie nga siya...
(normal voice)
… Anyway, ako naman, nagsosyo kami ni Con sa isang computer shop habang may separate work rin ako as a cartoonist.

DERRICK:
Kayo nagsosyo? E di araw-araw kayong nag-aaway?

GABBER:
Parang ganon… Sana pala nakapunta ka sa place namin, ayos, siguradong magugustuhan mo.

2006 DER:
At ikaw naman ay isang college dropout na isang sikat na direktor ngayon. Alis muna tayo…

THE OLD AND YOUNG DERRICK WALK AWAY FROM THEIR FRIENDS. ’01 DERRICK IS AT AWE LOOKING AT HIS OLDER SELF WHILE THE ’06 DERRICK IS STARTING TO LIGHT UP HIS CIGARETTE.

EXT. OPEN LOT, 2006. DAY (SUNSET)

OLDER DERRICK OFFERS HIS CIGARETTE TO THE YOUNG DERRICK BUT HE DECLINES IT. AS THEY WALK, THERE IS SILENCE.

2006 DER:
(smirks)
Ano, hayup sa first time ano?

YOUNG DERRICK STOPS WALKING AND THROWS A FRIGHTENED STARE TO THE OLD VERSION.

DERRICK:
Pano mo nalaman? Sinabi na sayo ni Caitlin?

2006 DER:
Ha, bakit? Sino ba namang ugok ang gustong marinig na ang mahal niya ay pumatol sa iba?

DERRICK:
Technically hindi tayo iba e.

2006 DER:
Yun ang akala mo. Actually, predestined na yon. Alam ko na mangyayari sayo yon since ako nga ikaw ‘di ba?
(tries to put a cigarette in ’01 Derrick’s mouth)
Ayaw mo nga ng puff?

DERRICK:
Ayaw.

2006 DER:
Okey lang, matututo ka rin.

THEY START WALKING AGAIN, AND THEY FIND THEIR SELVES STANDING IN A GREEN, GRASSY PLAIN.

2006 DER:
Anyway may panibago ka namang proproblemahin…

DERRICK:
Ano yon?

2006 DER:
Ano na lagay ng panliligaw mo sa Caitlin doon?

DERRICK:
Not good. Alam mo yung feeling na may nakatato sa noo mo na “Friends Forever” tapos siya nagsulat? Saktong ganon. Bakit mo tinatanong? Bibigyan mo ako ng tips?

2006 DER:
Kanina naisip ko na oo… pero… favor naman o…

DERRICK:
Okay lang.

2006 DER:
Wag mo ng tuloy.

THE YOUNG DERRICK IS AT SHOCK. AFTER A FEW SECONDS HE LOOKS AT THE OLDER DERRICK PISSED.

DERRICK:
ANO?!?! GAGO KA BA!!

2006 DER:
Derrick ito yun e, pakinggan mo ako… hindi kami masaya. Oo, sabihin mo na ang gusto mong sabihin pero hindi ko na kaya e. Nasasakal na ako! Bukod pa doon, tingin niya sayo kontrabida. Lahat ng gawin mo, mali. Gusto niya siya ang sentro ng buhay ko pero hirap kasi mangyari yun e.

DERRICK:
DAHIL BANO KA!! Pero siya ang dream girl natin di ba? Bat mo ‘to sinasabi sa akin?

2006 DER:
Noong tumanda ka, gusto mo maging successful sa lahat ng bagay. Siya ang humihila sa akin pababa. Masakit mang isipin pero mukhang mali ang ginawa natin na panliligaw sa kanya.

YOUNG DERRICK IS LIVID, CONFUSED, AND PISSED. FROM AFAR THEY SEE THEIR FRIENDS, ALONGSIDE THE OLDER CAITLIN, WALKING TO THEM.

2006 DER:
Malay mo dito, kung ngayon pa lang kami maghu-hook up, baka masmaayos.

DERRICK:
Gusto mong pagbalik ko sa panahon ko, iiwasan ko siya.

2006 DER:
Para sayo din yun.

DERRICK:
GAGO KA! HINDI KO GAGAWIN YUN KAY CAITLIN! Basta gagawin ko pa rin ang lahat para makuha siya! At sisiguraduhin kong masmaganda ang future ko kesa sa alahat ng kasupotan na pinaggagawa mo! Walang kinabukasan ang magdi-dikta sa akin!

THE FUTURE VERSION LAY SILENT… THEN LAUGHS.

DERRICK:
What’s so funny?

2006 DER:
Kung makikita mo lang ang mukha mo…

DERRICK:
Bakit anong…
(thinks then gets pissed)
So gaguhan lang yon?

2006 DER:
Yung mga problema part, totoo yon. Pero ginagago lang kita nang sabihin kong wag mo nang ituloy ang pagpupursige mo kay Caitlin. Believe me, by this time, gustong-gusto ka na niyang makita…

THEY THEN SPOT THEIR FRIENDS GOING TOWARDS THEM.

2006 DER:
Handa ka na ba?

DERRICK:
Dito na natin gagawin?

2006 DER:
Ummm… anong problema?

DERRICK:
Hindi ka ba natatakot na may makakita?

2006 DER:
Babaguhin mo rin naman ang future mo pagbalik e. Balewala rin.

CAITLIN, GABE, MAY, AND LYNN LOOK TOWARDS THE TWO. THE TWO DERRICKS CLOSE THEIR EYES AND HOLD HANDS. THEY EMIT AURA FROM EACH OTHER THAT EVENTUALLY BECOME AN OBLONG-SHAPED PORTAL. CON AND DAN CHASE EACH OTHER TO THAT SPOT AND STOPS IN AMAZEMENT. GABE TAKES OUT HIS CELLPHONE AND VIDEOS THE EVENT. HEAVY WINDS COME TO THE VICINITY. SEVERAL BYSTANDERS LOOK FROM AFAR. THE JACKY APPEARS WITH A SHOPPING CART FULL OF STUFFS.

CUT TO:

INT. MUSEUM, 2001. DAY

THE GROUP STANDS NEAR THE DOORJAMB.

CON:
(to Gabe)
Buti na lang naniwala yung guard na anak ka ng matanda kung hindi baka hindi tayo pinapasok dito ng libre!

GABE:
HINDI KO KAMUKHA YON!

CON:
Sa mukha walang hawig pero kung pagbabasihan ang amoy…

GABE:
SHUT UP!!!!

LYNN:
Teka ano ngang ginagawa natin dito?

THEN A PORTAL OPENS AND OUT CAME DIFFERENT SETS OF SHOES, GADGETS, FOOD, AND CLOTHING.

GABE:
(clueless)
Ano to?

JACKY:
Yan na ba si Derrick?

CON:
Ako na magu-uwi kay Derrick!

GABE:
Gago! Hindi yan si Derrick!

CUT TO:

EXT. OPEN LOT, 2006. DAY (SUNSET)

DERRICK IS BEING GREETED OFF BY HIS FRIENDS (THEIR OLDER VERSIONS).

JACKY:
Sige tol!

GABE:
Ingat.

MAY:
Bye!

LYNN:
Sana hindi ka namin makita ulit.

CAITLIN:
Sabihin mo masyadong payat si Lynn. Dapat tumaba siya ng todo.

LYNN:
(pissed)
Hoy anong problema mo!

CAITLIN:
(shouts)
HINDI SAPAT ANG 170 POUNDS!

ALL LAUGH. LYNN TRIES TO SWIG A HEAD SLAP AT CAITLIN BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN A POWERFUL GRIP IN DERRICK’S SHIRT COLLAR PULLED HIM TO THE DIRECTION OF THE PERSON PULLING IT. THE GROUPED STOPPED. IT’S DAN; PISSED AND IS BREATHING HEAVILY.

DAN:
PAKISABI SA SARILI KO NA LAYUAN ANG UGOK NA TO!!

DAN SPOTS CON AND THROWS HIS SHOES AT HIM. MEANWHILE, DERRICK GOES NEAR CAITLIN AND OLDER DERRICK.

DERRICK:
Wala na ba akong communication sa inyo?

CAITLIN:
Malamang. Subukan mo kung gagana pa cellphone mo. Ikaw na lang tumawag at baka kung ano pa ang mangyari sa inyo.

2006 DER:
Pero kung babaguhin mo nga ang future, e di hindi mo na kailangang gawin yan. Basta usapan natin a.

CAITLIN:
(to 2001 Derrick)
Pareho lang ba yan ng pinagusapan natin?

DERRICK:
Oo. Kaya nga gagawin ko ang lahat para baguhin lahat ng mga kapalpakan niyo.

2006 DER:
Siguraduhin mo lang.

WHEN DERRICK WAS ABOUT TO ENTER THE PORTAL, ANOTHER PORTAL EMERGES AND OUT CAME ALCAZAR. EVERYONE WAS STUNNED.

CAITLIN:
(shocked)
Alcazar?

DERRICK:
(shocked)
What the fuck?

ALCAZAR:
(scratching head)
Sorry connecting flight.

ALCAZAR ENTERS DERRICK’S MADE PORTAL. EVERYONE WAS STUNNED. DERRICK THEN HESITANTLY TAKES A FINAL BYE-BYE WAVE THEN PUSHES THE REST OF THE BOXES TO THE PORTAL.

2006 DER:
(clueless)
Ahh… Caitlin, what are those?

CAITLIN:
Mga PC’s, CD’s, cellphones, laptops, etc… bakit? Nagtataka nga ako kung bakit hindi mo yan naisip dati e.

2006 DER:
(curiousity turns into a serious look)
Magkano inabot yan?

CAITLIN:
(uneasy)
Ewan. Siguro mga 500k. Bakit?

2006 DER:
(about to fire up)
Kaninong pera ang ginamit niyan?

THE 2001 DERRICK THEN JUMPS TO THE PORTAL BUT WITHOUT 2006 DERRICK GRABBING HIM, STOPPING HIM FROM ENTERING AND THEN UNLOADING A COUPLE OF PUNCHES IN HIS SHOULDERS. THE GROUP NOW RESTRAINS HIM.

2006 DER:
(shouts, angry)
SINONG NAGSABI SAYO NA PWEDE MONG GASTUSIN ANG PERA KO!!!!

DERRICK:
(scared)
Akala ko ba balewala rin ang lahat kasi babaguhin ko rin ‘to!

2006 DER:
(shouts, angry)
PERO PERA KO YON!!!!

DERRICK:
Sabi ni Caitlin okay lang daw e.

OLDER DERRICK STOPS THEN LOOKS AT CAITLIN WHO BY THIS TIME IS WALKING BACKWARDS AWAY FROM 2006 DERRICK. 2001 DERRICK THEN FORCES OUT OF HIS OLDER SELF’S GRIP AND JUMPS TO THE PORTAL.

FADE TO BLACK.

INT. MUSEUM, 2001. DAY.

AFTER A FEW MOMENTS, DERRICK DROPS TO THE FLOOR AS THOUGH HE WAS SPAT BY THE PORTAL. NO ONE NOTICED HIM EXCEPT FOR GABE, LYNN, AND ALCAZAR FOR THEY ARE ALL GOING THROUGH THE “BALIKBAYAN” BOXES.

JACKY:
(happy)
Cellphone na may video!

CON:
(checking out the shoe)
Sino tong LeBron James na ‘to? Pero maangas sapatos niya a…

THE YOUNGER CAITLIN IS AT THE FAR, DARK SIDE OF THE ROOM SECRETLY CRYING AND SMILING AT DERRICK’S ARRIVAL.

LYNN:
(stunned)
Angas.

GABE HELPS DERRICK UP. ALCAZAR’S COMES NEAR GABE AND DERRICK.

GABE:
Hey, I thought you’ll be dead in the future…

ALCAZAR:
In my journeys I found a rare artifact that can create portals just like this doorjamb.

GABE:
What? Another time traveling contraption? Anyway, thanks for returning our friend back.

ALCAZAR:
What can I say? I need to do a good deed for what I’ll be doing next. Think of this experience as something you’ll treasure in the future.

ALCAZAR THEN CREATES ANOTHER PORTAL AND LEAVES BUT JUST WHEN HE WAS ABOUT TO ENTER THE PORTAL, HE TAKES A LONG EGYPTIAN SPEAR FROM THE ARTIFACTS SECTION THEN SWINGS IT AT THE DOORJAMB. THE HUGE THUD ALERTED EVERYONE. THE DOORJAMB DROPS DOWN TO THE FLOOR, WITH SOME OF THE JEWELS THAT WERE PLACED AS DESIGNS TAKEN OUT.

CON:
Hoy gago! Anong ginawa mo!?!

ALCAZAR:
Bye bye!

BOTH PORTALS DISAPPEARED. DERRICK TRIES TO STAND UP WITH THE HELP OF GABE.

CON:
Derrick, nandito ka na pala. Kelan ka dumating?

DERRICK:
Ang gago niyo. Dinakma niyo agad yung mga pasalubong ko. Nandito rin ako!

CON:
Sana kinusulta mo kami sa mga pinagkukuha mo. Kahit gano pa kabago console mo kung tinamad ka na dito tapos limang taon pa ang bagong titles wala rin kwenta to.

DERRICK:
Pwede diyan DVD.

CON:
Ano ang DVD? Yung ba yung 800 pesos ang isang bala?!? Pirated na VCD ang kaya natin! 100 pesos lang yun gago!

DERRICK:
Pasalamat ka nga’t binigyan pa kita e.

JACKY:
Tapos ayos tong mga pinamili mong tinapay a… limang taon ang expiry date. Bat ka nga pala may dalang tinapay?

MAY:
Pagkain sa biyahe?

DERRICK:
Teka… asan si Caitlin?

DERRICK SEARCHES FOR CAITLIN AND FINDS HER IN THE DARK AREA BUT SHE STOPS HIM.

CAITLIN:
(sobbing but concealing it)
Narinig ko na lahat ng mga katarantaduhan mo. Ayun si Lynn o. Kung okay pala siya bakit hindi na lang siya ang ligawan mo…

DERRICK GOES TO THE DARK AREA AND KISSES CAITLIN. AS THEY KISS PASSIONATELY, JACKY GETS THE CELLPHONE AND RECORDS THEIR KISS.

JACKY:
Uy, may night vision!

CON:
(horny look)
Scandal!

LYNN:
(smiles)
I will be hot?!

THEN THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER IN A PRETTY WEIRDED OUT MANNER.

DERRICK:
Mapait labi mo.

CAITLIN:
(wipes off tears)
Gago ka kasi e. Pinapa-iyak mo ako.

DERRICK:
Kung alam ko lang na sasagutin mo ako once na pumasok ako sa isang time-altering portal e sana dati ko pa siya ginawa!

AS THEY LOOK AT THE TWO SMOOCHING. AN IMAGE IS SEEN FROM THE BROUGHT DOWN-DOORJAMB.

LYNN:
May lumalabas na image sa frame!

THEY ALL WENT NEAR THE PORTAL. ONCE THEY GOT THERE THEY BEGIN TO SEE THEIR OLDER SELVES.

2006 CON:
Hoy dating ako! Tumatawid ba ang amoy ng Gabe na ‘to diyan??

2001 CON:
HINDI KO ALAM! MABAHO DIN TONG KATABI KO E!

The two Gabes hit the two Cons in the head. Meanwhile Lynn is so happy looking at her older self.

LYNN:
(extremely happy)
I’m like a supermodel!

MAY:
Pero mas malaki boobs ni Dan.

DAN:
(pissed, shouts)
Dahil ba buntis? PANO NANGYARI YAN!?!?!

2006 DER:
(whispering at ’06 Caitlin)
Nagawa niya.

2006 CAITLIN:
Pero kaya ba niyang i-maintain?

WE SEE THE YOUNGER VERSIONS OF DERICK AND CAITLIN SMILING AT THEIR OLDER SELVES.

2006 DER:
Kaya niya yan.

THEY LOOK AT THE IMAGE OF THEIR SELVES.

CUT TO:

INT. CLASSROOM, 2001. DAY

BOOGIE LOOKS AT THE PAPER WEIRDED AND SHOCKED. THEN HE LOOKS AT DERRICK IN A WEIRDED AND SHOCKED MANNER.

BOOGIE:
Eto na yung paper na pinapagawa ko sa inyo?

DERRICK:
Yessir.

BOOGIE:
Err… Pano ko ba ‘to masasabi ng hindi kukulo dugo ko… Punzalan, VERY ENTERTAINING ang storya mo. Kaso pinapasulat ko sayo ay isang AU-TO-BI-O-GRAPH-Y, hindi isang science fiction story!

GABE:
(whispering at Derrick)
Sabi ko sayo mag-imbento ka na lang.

BOOGIE:
Portals, teleportations… ano to Star Trek? At nilagay mo pa dito kung paano mo pagpantasyahan ang mga kaklase mo! hindi ka na ba nahiya… MANYAK!!

LYNN:
(sarcastic)
Kailangan mo ba talagang ilagay yan sa storya mo?

DERRICK:
Look, naaalala niyo ba yung wala ako ng halos isang linggo? Na-trap kasi ako sa 2006 kaya ganon!

BOOGIE:
Payaso ka rin ‘no? Sabi mo dito sa slip na pinirmahan mo ay nasa San Francisco ka dahil madalian kang pinik-up ng uncle mo at hindi ka DINALA SA MENTAL DAHIL ISA KANG ATSIPAPLOO! Malamang tinatanong niyo? Hmm… ano ba ang isang atsipaploo? WALANG IBIG SABIHIN YON DAHIL IMBENTO LANG YON TULAD NG STORYA MO!!! Milatrato mo ang utak mo para sa wala! Mr. Punzalan, alam kong hirap kang mag-isip… pero HINDI AKO TUMATANGGAP NG HINDI KO PINAPAGAWA! Pero tutal naman pinaghirapan mo ‘to, may bukas ka pa para magbago o hindi ka ga-gradweyt!

BOOGIE THEN STANDS UP AND POINTS AT DERRICK A LA THAT’S MY BOY.

BOOGIE:
GETS MO BA YON TUNGOK!!!

BOOGIE WALKS OUT OF THE ROOM.

GABE:
Tingin mo ba lulusot ang storya mo?

CAITLIN:
Kaya nga, ang tanga-tanga mo. Tutulungan na lang kita mamaya… pero walang malisya!

THEN WE HEAR A LOT NOISE AT THE CORRIDOR.

BOOGIE (offscene):
HOY PUNZALAN!!!

DERRICK GOES OUT AND IS SHOCKED TO SEE THE DOORJAMB OF DIMENSION STANDING NEAR BOOGIE. HE STANDS THERE IN SHOCK CAITLIN AND THE OTHERS FOLLOW AND THEY ARE SHOCKED AS WELL.

DERRICK:
Pano napunta yan dito?

CAITLIN:
Di ba sira na yan?

BOOGIE:
Nahuli yata ng dating ang props mo! Muntikan pa akong nadapa! Sino ba ang ugok na naglagay nito sa daan!?!

DERRICK:
Pumasok ka sa loob?

CON:
AYOS!